1000 Ways to Die
by moonlightfan44
Summary: Listen to Roxas as he tells his friends some of the most gruesome, stupid, and most shocking deaths. Look into the eyes of the last moments of the victims' lives. Based on the TV show, 1000 Ways to Die. Please R&R! xD
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello!! Welcome to my new story! It's called 1000 Ways to Die. It's based off the TV show. I made a decision that this was gonna be a songfic. Basically, each chapter is named after a song, and features some of the song in the chapter. Well, I'm going to introduce to you the characters. Let me make note that this takes place BEFORE Kingdom Hearts. Unlike my other Kingdom Hearts story, which takes place after Kingdom Hearts 2. Let's just say, this takes place BEFORE Kingdom Hearts, but after Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep. Yes, Roxas and Namine exist in this! And so do the other characters from Kingdom Hearts 2.**

Sora, 11, lives on Destiny Island with his pal Riku and long time friend Kairi. He enjoys eating Paopu fruit. He likes to read comic books, walk the beach, play volleyball, and blitzball (yes, I brought blitzball in from FFX) in his spare time.

Riku, 12, lives on Destiny Island with his pal Sora and friend Kairi. Quite spunky and stubborn, he still loves to listen to his iPod, climb trees, wakeboard, and write stories.

Kairi, 11, lives on Destiny Island with her friends Sora and Riku. In her spare time, she eats Paopu fruit, writes in her diary, goes shopping, likes to collect necklaces, rocks, and puka shells.

Roxas, 11, lives off the coast of Destiny Island, in Twilight Town. In his free time he plays video games, hangs out with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and eats sea-salt ice cream. In the summertime, he goes down to Destiny Island with them, and tells everyone stories.

Namine, 11, lives off the coast of Destiny Island, in Twilight Town. She has been said to live in an old, abandoned mansion. Everyone thinks it's haunted. In her spare time, she likes to draw.

Hayner, 11, lives off the coast of Destiny Island, in Twilight Town. He loves the beach, sea-salt ice cream, video games, and skateboarding. He goes to Destiny Island with Roxas, Pence, and Olette to hear stories.

Pence, 11, lives off the coast of Destiny Island, in Twilight Town. He loves hard rock music, especially Metallica. He enjoys going to the beach with his friends and eating sea-salt ice cream. He goes to Destiny Island with Roxas, Hayner, and Olette to hear stories.

Olette, 11, lives off the coast of Destiny Island, in Twilight Town. She is quite stubborn, loves to get her school work done, the first second possible. She enjoys shopping, drawing, the beach, and sea-salt ice cream. She goes to Destiny Island with Roxas, Hayner, and Pence to hear stories.

**NOW, ON WITH THE STORY!!!!**

Prologue

"Roxas!!" Roxas's mom yelled upstairs.

"Yeah?" He called.

"Are you in bed yet?" She asked him.

"Getting there." He said, and quickly started changing into his PJ's.

"Well, get in bed! It's after 10:00!" She yelled out.

"I am." Roxas said and threw on his shirt. He quickly bounced into bed. "Goodnight." He said as he pulled up the covers.

"Goodnight." She called out.


	2. Pole Clawed

**A/N: Hey! This, I think, is the longest time I've gone without updating any of my stories! Btw, sorry 'bout that. I've been incredibly busy, with the end of the school year, summer, and then the start of this school year. I had a lot of work, not to mention, I REALLY do have a job. I actually got that job the 1st Saturday of June (The 5th of June, I think). Yup, that's how long it's been since I've updated my stories. Actually, I haven't since the end of April. Yeah, almost 5 months. Jesus. Well, at least I finished my first half of high school. Now just the last half. And I should be updating my stories more often. Also, I changed my mind about this being a songfic. I lied before (sarcasm). I should have thought that through before I made the Prologue. Oh well. Anyways, here's Chapter 1.**

Chapter 1

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEEPPPP!" Roxas's alarm screamed at him. It was just quarter to 5:00. His eyes quickly snapped open. He didn't move though. He actually just laid there, dead still. 'I need to replace that beep with a song', Roxas thought.

Just then, his dad opened his door, trying to turn the light on. He was still groggy, from just being woken up. With frustration, he finally got the light on, his eyes squinting, with an angry look on his face.

"What are you doing up at this hour?" Roxas's dad threatened. Roxas finally turned his head.

"Uhmm...my alarm went off." Roxas looked back at his alarm.

"I know that, Sherlock. Why do you have it set to quarter to wake up your dad?" He yelled. Roxas frowned, but didn't answer his question, and went back to his original position. His mom, hearing the yelling, walked in the room. Hair messy as ever, she scratched her head.

"Robert, stop yelling and come back to bed." She grabbed her husband's arm. He took her hand off him.

"This is the third time this week! Why do you have to set your clock so early!"

"Third time?" Roxas shrieked. "What the heck?" He threw his arms up. "It's only Monday!" He shot back at his father.

"You know what? I'm sick and tired of your smart attitude!"

"Yeah, well I'm sick and tired of your face in my room!" As soon as he screamed that, he was sorry. Before Robert could do anything, his wife pulled him out of the room as fast as she could.

"Just leave him alone, and let's go back to bed." Roxas heard his mom say to his dad outside his bedroom door. He wanted to go meet his friends at the park, but he was pissed. And he was just not in the mood for that. He quickly jumped off his bed, and stomped towards the door, like an elephant in a china shop. He turned off his light, and grabbed a hold of the doorknob. He poked his head out the door and shouted,

"I need a 'NO DISTURBING' sign!" He slammed his door, and jumped back in his bed. He pulled the covers over him. "But I can't get one, because I can't even afford to make a down payment on a pack of Wrigley's Spearmint gum." He said, exasperated at the fact that his mom doesn't even have a job.

"That means I need one."

* * *

"But please mommy?" The little boy begged, jumping up and down on his parents' bed.

"No Trent. I can't take you to GameStop. It's only 7:00 in the morning." His mom said and rolled over. He started crying. When she thought it couldn't get any worse, her eldest son Riku came smashing through the door. Then he slammed it. She sat up.

"Mom, I'm going to the Island with my friends." Riku said.

"Fine, I don't care. Just take your little brother. He's bugging the crap out of me."

"No, mom. That's not fair. He annoys me. And he can't come. They're my friends not his."

"Stop being so selfish and take him." Trent nodded. Riku frowned at him.

"No!"

"If you don't take him, you're not going!" She yelled.

"Ughh! Man, just leave him with dad."

"Your dad's at work, now leave."

"Jesus. Fine, come here you little brat." Riku yelled. They walked out the door. 'I'm gonna bust his ass, one day', she thought.

* * *

Riku got out of the boat, Trent following him. He saw Olette and waved. He walked over to her.

"Hey, where's Roxas?" He asked her.

"He's running a little late." Olette answered.

"A little? I'm running a little late. He's running a lot late." Riku said, annoyed.

"Don't stress it. He'll be here. Come on over here with us. We're starting to roast marshmallows."Olette said and grabbed his hand. As soon as they sat down, they heard Roxas's voice.

"Hey!" Roxas shouted, rowing his boat to the dock. He parked his boat next to Riku's and quickly jumped onto the deck. He ran over to them, and made himself a spot next to Hayner.

"What took you so long?" Hayner asked.

"I went grocery shopping." They all just raised a brow.

"There were no groceries in your boat, unless you stopped home first, which would've been impossible." Hayner said.

"No. There were groceries in my boat, weren't there?" He asked, confused.

"Do you have ears?" Hayner asked. Olette reached over and slapped him. "Oww! Hey!" Olette shook her head.

"No, I swear there were groceries in my boat." Roxas got up and went over. They heard him yell, "Oh, sweet bologna sandwiches!" He walked back over and huffed.

"You have bologna sandwiches?" Sora asked, amazed. Everyone laughed at him.

"No. I just meant all the groceries must have toppled in the water, back there somewhere." Roxas shook his head. "Man." He sat there for a minute before he said, "And yeah, I did have bologna sandwiches. Well they weren't made, but I had bologna and bread, and musTERD. Oh well." Nobody said anything. They all just sat there for a few minutes, before Roxas broke the silence.

"Oh yeah, I have a story to tell. About a stupid death." He said, excitedly.

"Okay, let's hear it." Riku said.

"Okay, I read this on the internet. A boy and his mom went to the zoo..." Roxas started to say, before being interrupted.

"How old was he?" Riku asked.

"15." Everybody laughed. Roxas ignored it and continued. "His mom didn't trust him, and he was just flat out immature anyway. They sat down and had lunch, and the boy complained."

"Mom, let's get out of here. It's really, really hot!" Aspen said, attracting attention.

"Honey, we just got here." People heard that and laughed. He just laughed to.

"Yeah, but I'm too hot. I'm leaving." Aspen got up and left the table. He started to walk around a bit, looking at all the different exhibits. Nothing amazed him. Same old, same old, he thought. That was until he reached the polar bear exhibit. He smiled. He looked left and right, making sure nobody was watching him. When he was sure nobody was, he walked around to the back of the exhibit. Since he was so skinny and short for his age, he was able to squeeze through the bars that would lead him back to see the polar bears. He got up on his feet, and walked around a bit, but the polar bears weren't in sight at the moment. He looked around and saw one hiding under the water. The polar bear came out of the water and just stared at the boy. The polar bear looked friendly, so he tried to pet him. The bear snarled at him, but did nothing else. He waited a few more minutes, and tried to pet him again. The bear finally had it, he grabbed the boy's wrist with his mouth, and hurled him across the exhibit. The boy, groaning in pain, tried to get up. He was just able to lift his back up when the polar bear came running towards him, with his claws out. The boy screamed, and tried to get up more. The bear finally reached him, and brought his claws right across his face. Aspen kept screaming and yelling. Nobody heard him, and he finally got beaten down. The polar bear slashed him again, and he was dead."

"That was really interesting." Sora proclaimed.

"Yeah, where'd you hear that?" Riku asked.

"The internet, I told you." Roxas said.

"Was it under the news section?"

"No, it was just a random story. This happened a few years back."

"Oh ok."


End file.
